A Hopeful Step Forward

Once I manage to get my fingers onto a keyboard, it starts. The words just flow. Sure, it’s all nonsense at the beginning, and then even after I mess around with the words and switch sentences here and there, it’s still nonsense, albeit edited.

But however much it looks like baloney to you and me, the fact remains; it exists. However, its only thanks to whatever reason it was that lead to my fingers finding their spot over the keys.

See, my problem is GETTING my fingers onto this keyboard. I might have mentioned how lazy I am somewhere back there, and well, this is one of the symptoms. Here, now, I’m typing, only because I finally managed to get myself to type. Wasn’t easy, but well, here I am.

I guess one of the main reasons for this particular spell of redundancy is that I had a bit of major depression within the last five days. I had to say goodbye to a really good friend, and it’s a complicated story. That sort of put me in a pretty deep gloom for a while till N, one of my oldest friends, told me to get a move on and cut to the chase with this whole writing thing.

A Tribute to Fate

I guess a lot of what makes me who I am today is a result of seemingly small things that had a huge impact on me when I was younger. My need to be original is one of them.

To me, being original is the single most important thing that affects how I do my work. I’d even go so far as to say that originality is who I am and what I do. And it all began thanks to a kid that I used to know. (Great choice of words, chances are Gotye’s “Somebody that I used to know” is probably playing in your head right now. And if it wasn’t before, it certainly is NOW)

I was maybe twelve or thirteen. I was always an innovative kid, and I used to come up with the wildest ideas back in the day. I used to create all kinds of stuff with paper, cardboard, scissors and gum, and then take whatever I did to school to show my friends. I mean, what else would you do with the things like comic books that you drew up, or the little cardboard helicopter with rotors that actually spun?

There was this kid, AN. He was an okay guy. Pretty friendly with me, nice in his own way. But AN had this really gifted way of pissing me off to an extent that few other people ever could. He’d watch me make something up, and then copy whatever I did, to show it off the very next day like it was his own little brainchild. At first I didn’t mind, really. If what he wanted to do was practically stop every kid walking down the hallway and exhibit his genius, well, it wasn’t my business. For my part, the only ones I showed my stuff to were my close, personal friends.

But it became all too personal when a guy examined one of my gimmicks, did this condescending little display of sticking out his lower lip and said, “So how come you’re copying AN’s stuff?”

To Where Mine Thoughts Fly

Ah, the joys of travelling.

I deal with jet lag as badly as the next guy. I just so happen to be one of the laziest people you’d have ever been unfortunate enough to meet. And being as lazy as I am, over the years I have perfected the art of milking every opportunity I get to stretch my feet out and plant myself in front of a screen.

A long trip? Heh heh.

So you took two days to recover from that flight. Wow. Must have been brutal. Me get back after taking the same trip? You wouldn’t catch me stepping out of the house for a week. Unless mum threatens to repossess the laptop if I don’t leg it to the store on her whim or my phone runs out of credit and I’m out of backup recharge cards. Those don’t count. No, they don’t.

Up to about a couple of months ago, I used to make this weekly commute every weekend, and each trip would take roughly three hours. I’d stay overnight Fridays and Saturdays and be back home by midnight Sunday. You guessed it; I wouldn’t budge out of bed till midday Tuesday. Sue me, opportunities like that are hard to come by. Especially for me.

A Cinderblock to The Jaw

             Was in for a fairly painful setback today. Though it wouldn’t be fair unless I admit that I did get off better than some people, and there are probably people wishing they had what I did. Well, if I was them, I'd probably be wishing the same

             But a setback is a setback, and this involves six months of my young adult life. No, not prison. I got the results for an exam session I was taking and it turns out I failed one of three. Wouldn’t be that much of problem… but it turns out I can’t do the next stage unless I pass all three papers on this stage. So six months for one subject and another six months for the next level when I could have easily have finished this qualification in may.


             Ho hum. Six months. Well yeah, I was disappointed when I first read that email. There I was, warm in bed, like any normal person at 5.45 am. Then one of my blokes gives me a call and tells me that the results are out. He’s all excited. Why shouldn’t he be? He had been expecting to flunk all three and there he was, proudly flunking just the one.

             I stumble out of bed, hit the light, flip open the laptop, wait for the darn thing to load, and all the while his voice is still in my ear, and I have no idea what he’s saying. Heck, I don’t know what I’m doing up at a quarter to six in the morning, my toes morphing into ice cubes and my fingers following close behind.


             Why ever didn’t I say “Yeah, great, bye,” and then hang up, turn around and have another 5 hours of blissful sleep before checking it much, much later in the day?

             Because I’m nosy, that's why.

It Begins at The Beginning

          Well, here I am.

I’ve been juggling the idea of starting up a blog for quite some time now. To be quite honest, there was just the one thing that was stopping me; I was, and am, admittedly, much too lazy to take the trouble to sit down and type this or anything else out. 

           The real reason I even started up a blog? You could compare it to a guy in quicksand throwing a lasso at a dead branch. I'm an author. Ish. I haven't published anything yet, but I've finished around four novels, three of which I've re-written twice already. Right now, I'm in the process of re-writing the entire plot of a trilogy for the third time. (Any other would-be authors reading this, I so know you can relate to this. Am I right?)


           Well, so, the real reason for this blog is that lately, I've been having issues with the whole pen-to-paper thing. No, not writer's block, I know that problem.  It's nothing to do with ideas. I'm basically writing the same thing again but with a few major changes here and there that I've already thought out. Ideas are just not the problem; I've got far too many of them, to be quite honest.

           My problem, to put it bluntly, is that I'm lazy. Heck, it was a strain to start writing this up in the first place. But I'm hoping that over time, y'know, people would eventually start to actually read my stuff and then I'd get the kick up my pants that I need to finish the book.


           Wishful thinking, I agree, but hey, optimism can do wonders. Or so I hope.


           Well, I've started, and I've even done four and a half paragraphs so far. Wow. An achievement, without a doubt. And you, dear Reader, if you've come with me all the way down to this line here, you've just become my new best friend. For real.


           By the way, I should probably mention around now that my name really isn't Mathew Wordweaver. (Big shock, I know). I was thinking of going the anonymous route for now. I'll reveal who I am as we go along. Hope you readers don't mind. After all, I'm new at this, aren't I?

           It begins at the beginning, and then goes on until the end and then stops. Can't remember where I heard that quote before. Through The Looking Glass, maybe? Anyway, this is the beginning, and I'm hoping that there's gonna be a long way to go on till the end. And I'm going to need YOU, dear Reader, to help me out by giving me the shoves and criticism that I so very badly am in search of.


          Sometimes, a little encouragement is all you need to get you going. Let me know what you think of my writing style, whether you feel I should keep going whatever the odds, or whether I should just give up while I can, hang up the cape and go home.

          Right here, it's all you.