On Winning The War of Words

You read a good article in the newspaper, a good story in a book, or a good post on a blog, and you might feel better after it. You would probably marvel at the way the writer managed to keep you interested, or the way you actually managed to finish the whole piece.

And even if you don’t go to those depths of contemplation over what you just read, you’ll probably be all, “Well, that guy has a way with words. He probably does it with his eyes closed,”.

At this point, the writers who are reading this here will know that I am most definitely not talking about the thoughts of another writer up there. Darn right I’m not.

Unless you have actually sat down and tried to write something, you have no idea what the average author goes through. And when I say author, please be advised I use this in a loose sense. For all I know, what I’m going to say now might even apply to the guy who makes up the medicinal information in that tiny scrap of paper you find with any bottle of cough syrup.

We writers know that there is a wide, wide category of things that stand between an empty page and a work of art. Life pretty much invents things to throw at you while you work up the mood to get writing. Be it work, college, school, chores, family or kids; probably greater than any battle ever written about is the battle that’s fought to get it written down in the first place.

But to those of you who think that it’s all milk and cookies once we get to the page with the pen in hand, I have one word for you:

Hah.

Getting there was tough enough. But once you’re there, well. Then begins the war. Or as I like to call it, the War on the Four Fronts.

There is the Battle of the Beginning. You think it’s easy coming up with a line right off the bat that hooks onto you and pulls you in? Well done, you guessed correctly.

The answer is yes.

For some people, at least. (Got you there, didn’t I?).

But truly, some people do really have the knack of hauling you in just like that. Raw talent. And if you did manage to drag yourself down here by some miracle, you could note that no, as much as I would love to, I don’t fall into that category. Because for the rest of us, well, it’s a lot harder than it looks. The beginning is probably the most difficult part, and can even throw you off writing if you feel you’re not doing it the way you like.

Then there is the Battle of the Content. What in the world do you have to write about to keep a reader with you rather than giving it up and moving off? And even if you do have something good to talk about, there’s also the way you sell it. Even the most boring topics can become interesting if they’re worded right. This, too, is a skill, but I’d say a lot easier than the beginning.

Personally, I just write random paragraphs in no proper order when I do my blog posts. Later on I sort them out, line them up and then do the beginning. You’ll find that inspiration comes to you when you least expect it to.

And then, you come to the dreaded climax. The Battle for Closure.

Nailed a great heading, styled up some awesome paragraphs, and here you are, at the last leg, ready to finish with the uppercut KO.

Only you have no idea what makes a great ending.

We have all been there, dear not-a-writer. Finishing off in such a way that the reader will remember your words for years to come? Pulling that off is much, much tougher than you would think. It’s a combination of hard work, intense thought, great skill, and above all, luck.

You all marveled at the ending of the third season of BBC’s Sherlock. Simply no words to describe it. It was… indescribable. And now that’s settled, let me ask you; how easy do you think it was for them to come up with that? It takes BBC an average of two years between every season. And if you leave aside the time it took to film the three episodes, most of the brainstorming session must have been just that; a storm. An almost literal hurricane of nonsense. It helps when you have someone to bounce ideas off, and the results there were nothing short of amazing.

But if you’re a lone writer like me, well. Good luck to you, is all I can say. Not that it’s impossible. But I personally am a believer in good, old fashioned luck.

While you’re thinking that over, allow me to take the liberty of moving to the final battleground, the one that matters the most, seems easiest to win, and yet is harder than all other three combined.

The Battle for the Title.

To sum this conundrum up in one sentence:

What in the world are you going to call this thing???

You know exactly what I mean. Choosing a title can really sometimes be harder than actually writing the piece itself. You all know this to be true. Sometimes a project can lay dormant for even weeks after completion because you have no idea what you’re going to name the darn thing.

A title should tell the reader what the following masterpiece is about. It should be strong, endearing, even witty. And it should be precise. Most of the time, to be honest, I ignore those three rules and just make up some random sentence which I post above my blog content.

If you’re lucky, you will wake up one morning to find the title hovering over you in a shower of golden sparks. Grab it and use it. Because a lot of the time, it’s going to be a lot of crossed out phrases and a pile of crumpled pages at your feet.

But never fear. If you’re stuck, leave off, walk away, and let it stew in its own juices for a few hours. Come back, and you will be amazed at the new ideas you’ve got. That little change in perspective is all you’ll need every once in a while to keep you going.

And above all, you are your worst critic. If you’re stuck, pass it to a friend, get their ideas. A lot of people say this and I know I’m repeating them; I am because this really works. Two heads are better than one, so go out and find that other head is all I’m saying.

As a writer, I find myself caught up and thrashed by any one or more of these foes at any one time. It’s rare that I ever manage to get past all four problems. If ever, I will always be laid low by at least one of these vile challenges.

Funnily enough, the Murphy’s Law doesn’t seem to cover this sort of phenomenon. Clearly, Murphy wasn’t an author. That said, I vote we create the new Mathew’s Laws of Writing, to cover the enigmas that plague us writers but receive far too little appreciation by the outside world.

Here’s the first:

“Should you, by any chance, nail any three of the four challenges perfectly, you shall be so completely drained of creative juices by the time you get to the fourth that it shall leave you crying for mercy,”

Seems true enough.