On Pens That Gave Swords Something to Swing At

I don’t know what it is about swords, spears and arrows that fascinates me. To me, nothing beats witnessing a good charge down a rocky slope, hooves pounding, voices roaring, spears flashing, and a line of the enemy standing firm, shields raised, spear points bristling.

Nothing, except for some good vanilla ice cream and a whole Monday of relaxation after getting back from a three hour commute. That’s something else, entirely.

But, on swords and stuff? There’s almost nothing that can surpass that sort of thrill. I mean, just look at this:

Tell me you don’t feel good now, and in the mood for a LOTR movie. I know you do.

To me, Narnia was where I first found a place that had the whole swords and spears thing going on. My elder sis already had a copy of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, and I’m looking at it on my shelf right now as I write. It was THE book that made me love reading, I suppose. I was seven at the time, and I still remember lying in bed with that book in hand. Sigh. (Wipes tear)

 Man, did I love that book. It wasn’t till years later that I found out that it actually had sequels, (and once I did, you’re darn right I didn’t waste time getting my hands on them). Even then, though, I realized something about Mr. C.S. Lewis that I find depressing to this day: all of his stories had one common flaw. Each and every one of them was just too darn short.

The Seven Chronicles of Narnia (C.S.Lewis)

This picture I pulled off the internet. I don’t have all seven books, I’m afraid.  I will always love libraries. Sigh.

Sure, the directors of the first three Narnia movies might have been grateful for that fact that the books are the size that they are. The less there was to adopt, the less they would have to cut out of the allotted two and a half hours. And in principle, that would give much less reason for fans to get annoyed. I’m not sure whether that theory worked out so well with Prince Caspian, but let that be a tale for another day. 

On the subject of movie adaptation of novels, the Eragon movie was, unfortunately, a total let down in my humble opinion. I watched it before I went ahead and got myself the book; but frankly, even if I hadn’t read the book I’d have thought the movie was pretty weak.  It’s a shame, since it’s a really good tale that Christopher Paolini had got going.

Top: Poster for Eragon (2006) Stefen Fangmeier
Bottom: The Inheritance Cycle (Christopher Paolini) Left to Right in order from first to last

Can’t blame the producers, there were roughly five hundred pages there, but honestly, they seriously could have done a better job. As far as movies go, I personally enjoyed the three Chronicles of Narnia, even though the slight changes to The Dawn Treader kind of didn’t seem necessary to me.

But most of the time, movies can never replace the thrill a good book can give you. I don’t know about you, but I really would have appreciated it if Mr. Lewis had found a way to make his stories much longer than they really are. To me, the Last Battle was a rather sad disappointment, especially when compared to the other six.

Since I’m still here on the movie adaptations thing, I’d have to mention The Hobbit to do justice to the topic. I guess I’m on the side of the folks who love what Peter Jackson has done with J.R.R. Tolkien's prequel to The Lord of The Rings. Honestly, the only movie adaptation of novels I have ever enjoyed was the Lord of the Rings, and now, The Unexpected Journey and The Desolation of Smaug took their place right next to them. Sure, maybe it’s not right to meddle with the source material of a book as well loved as this one, but when you do a pretty awesome job of it, I guess you could be excused, really. And that’s exactly what I think Peter Jackson has done, an awesome job.

Left: Poster for The Desolation of Smaug; Center: The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien; Right, Poster for The Unexpected Journey

I’ve spoken to a few people who feel the other way; like there were too many subplots, and the fact that three movies were really unnecessary. To be honest, I agree with them, and I respect their opinions. Personally, though, I’m still looking forward to watching There and Back Again (the third and final Hobbit movie). It's way up on my most anticipated movies of 2014, along with Amazing Spiderman 2, Captain America 2, Guardians of the Galaxy, and of course, X-Men Days of Future Past. 2014 seems to be a great year for movies!

As far as books go, I do read a heck of a lot. Everyone has their favorite authors; I have my list. There’s Enid Blyton from when I was younger. There’s Eoin Colfer (Artemis Fowl), more recently. And there will always be Diana Wynne Jones. And so many more. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, J.K. Rowling, Christopher Paolini (Inheritance Cycle), Alistair MacLean, Edgar Rice Burroughs, K.A. Applegate (Animorphs, Remnants, Everworld), Agatha Christie… one of these days I’m going to have to list them all.

But for now, I’ll have to say that there is a three way tie for the all-time favorite spot on my list of best authors.

First up, Mr. Terry Pratchett. Oh, the glorious Terry Pratchett. There is only one of his Discworld books I have managed to read, (Guards! Guards!) and it had me hooked. Totally hooked. My best friend N keeps telling me to get more of his books, and it’s about time I took his advice. Terry Pratchett is just simply awesome. His use of words, his satirical descriptions, the pure comedy on every page… he is a master. Seriously, if you have not tried him, you don’t know what you’re missing.

His discworld novels are truly worth reading. I say again, I’ve just read one. But that was enough to bump him to the top of my list along with my other two all-time favorites. And one thing for sure: I need more Terry Pratchett!!!

Next author contesting for the all time favorite title, Mr. Rick Riordan. Now, I know his books mostly have a younger audience of 14 to 18, but I’m 21 and I love his work. For those who don’t know, he’s the author of the Percy Jackson series, as well as the Kane Chronicles and the ongoing Heroes of Olympus series. I have read all his books, and I love his fresh, simple take on Greek, Roman and Egyptian mythology in a modern setting.

Left: Percy Jackson and The Olympians Series; Center: Kane Chronicles; Right: Heroes of Olympus Series

 It’s easier for the readers to relate to the characters and to the Gods as he describes them. Mr. Riordan hooks you on like few other authors I have read. If I were to compare him to anyone else, I’d pick J.K.Rowling, hands down.

 Seriously, I recommend you pick up the Percy Jackson books right away. And if the first one doesn’t work for you, none of them will. You remember the phrase never judge a book by its cover? In this modern era, it’s about time we added the bit “nor by its movies” to it. Go ahead and add the Percy Jackson movies to the ‘messed up the source material in the worst way possible,’ right next to Eragon.

And add The Lightning Thief to you list of books to read. You will not be disappointed.

Rick Riordan tops my list, vying for the title with Terry Pratchett. But the two of them are not alone. With them stand the impressive, the outstanding, the totally unlikable Mr. George R.R. Martin.

I’m not going to be too quick in recommending the Game of Thrones to anyone out there. You need to be one strong minded, determined, resolute reader if you’re going to get through The Song of Ice and Fire. This series is just one twisted, confusing, messed up, gritty and yet simply brilliant piece of work. Sometimes I get so depressed I just put the book down and tell myself “No more, just no more!”

I always come back ten minutes later, but that’s not the point.

A Song of Ice and Fire books 1 to 5

That is a picture of my own five books, by the way. I'm a writer, not a photographer. Meh

Mr. Martin is brilliant, just brilliant. I mean, I’ve set standards for myself, like which well-known author would I like to be compared to far in the future when I finally become rich and famous. (Let a dude enjoy his dreams, people).

But even in my wildest dreams, I know I can never touch this man. He is just another level entirely. I won’t even bother trying, because I can’t. No one can. This is one person who you both admire and hate, all at the same time. Having your favorite characters die off repeatedly, whatever the reason, does that to you. It gets so I don't want to root for anyone anymore. But of course I do. (Sigh)

Granted, The Game of Thrones is really boring at the beginning, and it may seem that the story won’t stop dragging along. At one point I was kicking myself for wasting money on that book. But then all of a sudden it just exploded in my face. Characters start dropping dead all over the place and sometimes I felt like I needed a pen and paper to just keep track of what’s going on. And even if I had, chances were slim that I’d be able to put it to good use. How he keeps track I’ll never know.

Mr. Martin is truly a genius. His descriptions are flawless, and his insight into the human emotion, and not just any one person, but hundreds of them… this guy is just so thorough. He says it himself: the Devil is in the details. But man, has he got that Devil under his heel.

But it’s not so much the way the events taking place are so lifelike that get me, it’s the bigger picture that’s slowly taking shape that really holds me in awe.

I mean, I’ve done a trilogy, and I’ve plans for another series that I still haven’t started yet. I have spent countless bus trips thinking up my bigger picture and refining it over and over again… but the way Mr. Martin’s tale just weaves this way and that, I am instantly humbled. He is a genius. No doubt about that.

And so there you go; my top three authors. There are more, so many more; but these three will probably forever battle it out at the top. I’m eager for my next Terry Pratchett book; and Blood of Olympus, the fifth and final book of the Heroes of Olympus is due this October. And as for The Winds of Winter, the next in the Song of Ice and Fire series, no one knows when that one will ever be done.

I’m really looking forward to all these books, especially the Winds of Winter… even if, after all the wait, this is really what happens:

Knowing Mr. Martin, he’ll probably do it the most awesome and spectacular way imaginable.