On The Parents of Progress

The saying goes that necessity is the mother of all invention. Sure, maybe. It certainly is probable enough, if you just take it in, nod, and then continue scrolling down Facebook (which is where you probably saw the quote, in meme format) like I do most of the time.

But if you gave it any amount of thought, you’d probably see that it can’t be all there is. There has got to be more to invention than simply necessity. Boredom? Tools and parts lying around? Wife mad at you and chased you out to the garage, with nothing else to do till morning?

To say that necessity alone is the source of invention would be like saying that the patty alone makes a good burger. Which, as you know quite well, it does not.

 

I rest my case

Then, you ask, what metaphorical element would the bun represent, supposing we continue with that metaphorical burger? (Ignore the condiments, they're the smaller stuff, like that night in the garage). Well, to be blunt, I believe that a big, very big, part of invention stems from…. wait for it….. laziness.

That’s right, laziness. If necessity is the mother of invention, then laziness is the dad who comes home and falls right into the couch, glues the remote to his hand and falls asleep to the game.

 There it is, I said. Yes I did. Inventors were, in all likelihood, pretty lazy people. The best part about that is that it makes them my kin. Does that mean that I see myself as eventually becoming an inventor, you ask? If my theory holds true, then there’s a good chance I just might.

(If there was anything I would invent, it would be something that takes the images straight out of your mind, combines it with the words you want to use and types it out without you ever moving a finger. If this technology ever arrives in the future and it isn’t me profiting from it, remember where you heard this idea first.)

I just accused inventors of being lazy. I hear the mobs rising, the pitchforks being sharpened. Allow me to present my case.

Exhibit one: Edison and the light bulb.

In my mind, I see good old Tom there, at his workbench, fiddling away with something. Door blows open, wind blows the candle out. He mutters, replaces it. Later, candle burns out, and he has to go look for a new one.

Late at night, he has to carry a candle around with him, blow it out, and then light it again the next evening. The cycle continues.

Edison never invented the bulb.Sir Humphrey Davey did, in 1809. Well, technically, he created an ‘arc lamp’ by connecting a couple of wires to a battery, and attaching a strip of charcoal that glowed when touching the other ends of the wires. That was perfect for mining, but never had much practical use inside a home since it was too bright.

Edison improved on that with his more commercially marketable light bulb. Why? He got tired of lighting that darn candle over and over again.

Exhibit Two: Josephine Cochrane and the Dishwasher

In 1866, rich old Josephine Cochrane had a habit of hosting frequent dinner parties. With dinner comes plates, and with many parties comes many hours of scrubbing. Needless to say, she never did a dish herself (or else she might have thought twice about those parties. See why she’s in this list?), but she wanted a machine to have the dishes done faster and with a lower risk of those nasty chips around the edges.

Since no one had invented it before, she decided to go for it herself. Orders came in from friends, and then restaurants. She patented her design and started mass producing it, forming the Garis-Cochran Manufacturing Company, (which eventually became part of the KitchenAid brand and is now a part of Whirlpool).

Seriously. She invented a dishwasher for all you people too lazy to wash dishes for yourself. Think about that before you begin to glare daggers at me.

Exhibit Three: Robert Adler and the TV Remote control (developed from the original called… believe it or not… Lazy Bones)

(drops mic)

(bends to pick mic up again)

That up there is the later wireless version of the Zenith Space Command (catchy name, eh?) television remote controller, developed by Robert Adler in 1956. While not the first remote control device, it was an improvement over the original wired one that was actually called the LazyBones.

Need I say anything more? They found that they were too lazy to get up and go change the channel, so they created a way to do it from the comfort of their own couches. I rest my case.

(In looking up information on this one, I came across this article. I liked it a lot, and you might, too, if you're into remote controller origins and stuff like that.)

Just three of what I decided to prove here, but I believe that you now rest assured that I’m perfectly capable of twisting anything around to quite truthfully reflect the point that I’m trying to make. Lot’s more out there to talk about; but here are some honorable mentions:

Facebook (when was the last time you actually visited a person to talk about the stuff you chat about?); Fast Food (need I say more?); eBook readers (Think about it. Why else take away the glorious feel of pages and the scent of brand new book? (Eau de le new booke?); and many, many more.

When searching around for pockets of inspiration on the internet to help with this post, I happened to stumble onto this little titbit. The writer starts off looking like he and I are taking the same route; but he skews in a completely different direction from where I’m going pretty soon. It’s a pretty interesting read, nonetheless; check it out if you feel inclined.

To sum it up, I could write a few more paragraphs on how important laziness is to innovation, and have you on your feet yelling “NO!” (Kudos for making it this far down the page, by the way), but since Bill Gates already did a fine Job of it (notice the word play?), I thought I’d sign off with his much inspiring quote:

Well said, Bill. Well said.