On Time And Time Again...

Recently, I realized that there was this one question I kept hearing every so often. Every other week or so, I would see this topic as a meme online, as a status on Facebook, or I’d overhear one of my friends mentioning it, or something.

And when I didn’t see it anywhere, it would cross my mind at odd moments during my regular contemplations. Yep, I contemplate a lot. Where else do you think my many ideas come from?

By now, I’m hoping you’re curious enough to wonder what in the world I’m rambling on about this time.

The question in question, my friend; if you ever somehow got the chance to go back in time, or relive a few years of your past… how much would you change?

Photo Credits : Robbert van der Steeg

You would have noticed that I skipped past the “Would you/would you not change something in your life?” bit, and with good reason. No one past the self-awareness age of 10, and I mean no one, has ever lived life since then without moments that they would dearly love to change. Be it your mother saying something embarrassing in front of your kindergarten friends, or being publicly humiliated in the school cafeteria, or that split-second delay before hitting the brakes (which incidentally leads to an eight car pileup on the expressway…), or getting caught mere seconds before getting away scot-free after pulling off an ingeniously baffling major heist… we all have our moments of regret.

Ergo, phrasing the question with a “Would you…?” would be pointless because, just accept it, of course you would.

A couple of very close friends and I spent an awesome day together yesterday, in the middle of which we made time to go watch the latest X-Men movie, Days of Future Past. (in 3D, of course). That was one heck of a film, folks. Seriously, with Bryan Singer back, Fox is getting back into business on the X-Men side. Trust me, worth the watch. I thought First Class was good, but this….

Ahem. Cutting the fanboy rant there to get back to the ever eluding point...

You all probably know that the plot there has Wolverine, (Hugh Jackman, as if you didn’t know), go back in time to try and change events leading to a catastrophic future. If that was a spoiler to you, sorry, my bad… but seriously, shame on you. You should be well aware of that by now, even if you haven’t watched it yet. Or even if you aren’t a comic book fan.

Anyhoo…. Time travel. There it was again.

If I had the chance to go back… heck yeah, you can bet that I have a bucket list of stuff to change. But first things first; I want to get one thing straight. If I’m going to be having a time machine, it’s going to be this one:

Okay, I can hear your silent screams of outrage. If I was going for a time machine, I hear you ask, why do I not even consider this?

  

I’ll tell you why. Of course I considered it, and nope, I’m not taking the Tardis. Sue me. Sure, it’s bigger on the inside, and it can go anywhere in the universe through space and time and et cetera, et cetera… but come on, even The Doctor supposedly had to steal the thing. I can’t go around for eternity having that on my conscience.

It probably brings along all its baggage, too, stuff like having to be one of the last Children of Gallifrey to own one, and having to bump into Daleks and Cybermen and whatnot every few days (or weeks? But then again, time becomes relative, so… ugh, I feel the onslaught of a headache coming up)

  

Nope. As cool, incomparable and all round AWESOME as it is, I’m leaving behind the Tardis. That world is way, way, waaaaay too complicated. In the words of The Doctor, himself:

See? Give me the DeLorean any day.

Moving on.

There are a lot of things that sometimes I feel I would pay millions to be able to change. Millions, I tell you. Embarrassments that I’m sure you would love you hear about… (Oh, you would, wouldn’t you? I see you, rubbing your hands and hoping I’m going to spill. Nope. Not this time)

One thing I would definitely want to change would be something that happened a long time ago. Alright, it had something to do with a girl. Always does, doesn’t it? Maybe if I do manage to go back, I would set things up so I would never meet her, or just talk to myself and tell me what not to do. Or maybe... I could even leave me a note with do’s and  don’ts for the next ten years. That might actually work!

And even better… I could leave behind for my past self all the answers to all the exams that I would ever do to date! And it wouldn’t matter the year, I could just leave behind a flash drive with every single paper to date. I don’t think I need to elaborate on the results of that particular scheme…

All this started going through my head as I sat in the bus back home. I even started to draw up a mental list on what parts of my personal history I wanted to iron out first. Hey, preparation never hurt anyone, did it?

But then, a good way into the list, I realized something. All those bad incidents, letdowns, that heartbreak… everything in my past had shaped me into the person I am today. That flunked paper showed me that I was not as invincible as I had thought I was; that let down, and the others after it, showed me that sometimes, it’s better to go out there and do something for yourself than to sit back and hope someone does it for you.

And that heartbreak? It taught me that I really wasn’t ready for what they call love at the time. And even now, years later, I still don’t think I am. There was, and is, plenty of time for that, and I would, and will, wait for it. When the time comes, I guess I’ll take it as it is.

(At the very least, it taught me what NOT to do when trying to attract a girl. There is no overestimating the value of that kind of advice, fellas. Trust me on this)

Did I really want to be a person who had never had a taste of failure, had never taken a blow to his pride, who was arrogant enough to think the world his toy? Because that’s what I would probably become if I went back and paved a setback-free life for myself. It would probably be an easy ride to success, but… after success, what then?

In my head, I took a long look at that list … and then I crumpled it up.

Those blunders are part of who you are. Changing that… it changes you. And I don’t know about you guys… but I’m happy with who I am, and what God has given me. Heck, I’m not changing any of this!

(FYI, if you had something to do with that pileup or got nabbed after almost pulling off that bank robbery… go ahead, get back there and fix that. I give you my blessing)

If I ever do get hold of a time machine by some lucky chance, and if it turns out to be just a one-trip-only to the past rip-off, I’m going to hold onto it for a while. There’s going to be a lot of embarrassing moments coming up ahead in the life of a klutz like me… and chances are pretty good that I might change my mind about letting them stand to become part of me, if the past is any indication.

Never mind the fact that events in the past alter the future and not only erase future mistakes that I have yet to make, but may also create the possibility of whole new mistakes that I haven’t even thought about. That sort of stuff takes the fun away, and you know it.

Let a guy dream…