And it happened again.
Ever since the shenanigans that
Dani J Caile and I got up to on account of Neal’s goatee, I have instinctively
been looking out for a time when Dani and I could do a similar bit of creative
dueling once more. Apparently, he’s been looking out for the same thing, but
neither of us seemed to find a convenient enough avenue to start it off.
Until the other day, when Dani
decided to take matters into his own hands.
Everything worthwhile needs
something good to kick it off; in this case, the kick off happened innocently
enough. All I did was share a picture on my timeline. This one, to be exact.
A few hours later, I saw this.
Innocent enough, you would say. Not to him, and not to me.
Of course, I did what you would
expect me to have done. The gauntlet had been thrown. The time had come once
more. So I drew my Sword of Creativity and plunged in.
This one felt less like a real
duel. At times, ol’ Dani seemed to be making it as hard as possible for me not
to be able to continue. I obviously followed suit, and the result that we ended
up with a short three hours later… just hilarious.
This one ran much longer than
did the original, and it was trickier, too, since we began by a few words per
addition, and throughout the run never did more than one part of a sentence.
Work like that needs to be seen;
so I present to you, The Tale of The Cat and The Monkey (A When TIWs Gather
production)
Dani:
there was this cat...
Me:
...
which lived all alone...
Dani:
...in
a little white...
Me:
...doghouse.
It's neighbor....
Dani:
a
grouchy, diseased and...
Me:
...putrid
monkey with a bad case of rabies....
Dani:
...loved
to howl and screech...
Me:
...
at odd hours during the afternoon.
Dani:
Well,
this cat decided that...
Me:
...enough
was enough, and...
Dani:
...in
one odd moment when...
Me:
...
the monkey was having guests over....
Dani:
...he
leapt up onto the fence which separated...
Me:
...the
garden from the swimming pool, and...
Dani:
marked the area for all to smell. Unfortunately, the
water...
Me:
...
formerly a beautiful shade of deep blue...
Dani:
...now
turned to a dirty shade of yellow.
Me:
The
monkey, in the process of...
Dani:
creaming
his butt for the infamous...
Me:
... Cherished Chimpanzee maneuver, which also involved...
Dani:
squeezing
his te*******s in a banana vice...
Me:
...
and yodeling in as high pitched a voice as possible...
Dani:
...stopped
in his tracks when the guests noticed...
Me:
…
that there was now a palpable change in odor...
Dani:
...and
an oily viscosity to the water,
Me:
...accompanied
by a faintly noxious cloud of green.
Dani:
The
way that monkey somersaulted...
Me:
...
with the poise and agility of a gymnast and...
Dani:
...no hint of the 23 years in urethral sling surgery which
blighted his blossoming career as...
Me:
...
an acrobatic pianist at the local circus, he...
Dani:
could've won Gold at the
local Prosthetic...
Me:
... Amazing Aeronautical Ape Competition, that also
happened to feature...
Dani:
the Stupendous Russian
Poodles of Kiev and their...
Me:
... lesser known counterparts, the Roaring Rottweilers of
Romania.
Dani:
With a flick and fling,
the monkey landed...
Me:
... with grandeur on the tiles beside the pool, but...
Dani:
...unbeknown to his little brain, the cat had already
covered them with...
Me:
... litty itty bits of hairballs that he had torn to
pieces just so.
Dani:
The monkey's guests looked on as their host suffered the
most hilarious bout of chaetophobia...
Me:
... as his legs scrambled wildly and yet he stayed in one
place. His mouth open in a yodel of protest...
Dani:
...,to the surprise of all who were there to witness it,..
Me:
... he managed to miraculously regain his balance. He
grabbed the fence, and let out a sigh of relief. But that, however, was
before...
Dani:
...the cat had enacted his "pièce de
résistance", the 'claws in...
Me:
...extremely sensitive area' maneuver. The onlookers
raised paws to their mouths as...
Dani:
the sound of ripping flesh intruded on their as yet
unperturbed sanity of mind.
Me:
With a final shriek of defiance, the monkey lurched
backwards...
Dani:
...,bananas and nuts filling the air, splashing into the
yellow, viscous cloudlike pool, leaving the poor creature with nothing more
than...
Me:
...a tuft of hair around the back of his ears. Enraged at
the loss of his once luxurious fur, he lunged...
Dani:
...towards the cat, tripped on his own inflatable jumbo doll he'd prepared for the second attraction of the day
and...
Me:
... landed on his now bare skinned belly. The momentum of
that fall slid him backwards, limbs flaying, right into the pool. The splash...
Dani:
of the thick yellow/green soup within the pool,
unnaturally defying gravity as it slunk through the air, ...
Me:
...splattered all onlookers, doused any and everything
unprotected. The cat, untouched as a cat always is, leaped onto the fence once
more to survey the damage. Satisfied that the task was done, he left,
victorious and proud.
Took us about three hours with a
few breaks in between when either he or I were busy. All in all, I feel it was
a good piece of work, considering the one key element: spontaneity. Even if i do say so myself.
Note: neither he nor I have any
idea what a banana vice is, and we both agreed after it was over that the
Monkey realized that he would never howl again. There’s some twisted logic and
deduction in that conclusion, and I’m sure you do not want to hear it.
Dani has his own version of the
undergoing right here. And this is going to come out in Dani’s Shorts 3, a
third collection of Dani J Caile’s work, both in and out of The Iron Writer.
No, it’s not about his favorite
beachwear. I asked.
Look out for the next duel
relay. I have a feeling it’s going to be lots more challenging than this one
was.
Excellent Post! Well Presented!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Dani. You have no idea how annoyingly difficult it was to get all those comments lined up, especially when copying and pasting from Word. Blogger editor is a pain
Deletewhile reading, I felt like watching that movie..GRUMPY OLD MEN:))
ReplyDeleteHaha... i guess it was the monkey that did it? :D
DeleteSpontaneous. It's amazing what you came up with off the cuff
ReplyDeleteHaha, it was great. You can always bet that its going to be interesting when starting something off with Dani. Being part of the Iron Writers is one of the best things that could have happened to me :)
Delete