The Iron Writer Challenge #68

Since joining the Iron Writers, my newly blossoming career took a turn for the better in a way I had never fully expected.

Hanging out with those experienced writers is a truly amazing experience; having them talk and treat you like an equal, being able to ask them for advice, and poking at each other in our regular banter, each of them backing you and cheering you up when you feel down… I feel truly blessed to be a part of this group.

Of course, there was a catch to all that. I still had to take part in some of those beastly weekly challenges… and I remain as useless at flash fiction as a plumber at aeronautical engineering. But if I’m to stick around at The Iron Writer, sooner or later I will have to spar in another challenge, and another.  The only way I’m going to manage to survive… would be to (ugh) practice.

So, like the fool that I usually am, I signed up for another challenge, and a few more down the road as well. What was I thinking, you ask? I probably wasn’t thinking anything; if I was, I wouldn’t have done this to myself.

So here we are again, and its Challenge 68… my second Iron Writer bout. And this time, I was up against even more experienced adversaries.

After over a year, Brian still hasn’t lost his touch in coming up with four elements that are as really annoying as possible. And just my luck; he decided to make the ones this time a bit more related to each other. Sort of. And, doubt not, he did it in the most beastly way possible.

So, this is what the four of us, (K. A. DaVur, Lee Cox, Jordan Bell, and I) were tasked with this week:

           Rock

                      Paper

                    Scissors

                Shaving cream

This was along with the usual, the 500 word limit (writers could go up to 525), and the four day deadline.

Seems easy enough, but when you settle down to think about it, there isn’t all that much scope with which to write something interesting about those three. Not with a mind skewed towards the interests that I have, that is. And, of course, forget not the shaving cream.

I’m just counting my blessings that it wasn’t a Bunsen burner.

Flash fiction not being one of my greater strengths, I put together a story… but even as I did, I felt that this could be the start of something more. Constraints limit me, but with a free reign, possibilities are endless.

I give you, my contribution to The Iron Writer Challenge 68...

  

Of Tumbles and Choices

  

“Three elements to conquer,

Three powers to wield,

One thou shall take to aid in thy quest,

Choose wisely, for it is thy shield,”

“The strength of Rock lends might to thine arms. Against Wielders of the Scissor, thou shalt ever prevail. But be warned; should Rock be thy choice, the Paper Casters beith thy bane, for their Paper Cuts can sting thy resolve,”

“The cunning of Paper layeth doom to Barbarians of the Rock with spells of power and Cuts of Agony; but beware the Blades of The Furious Scissor! Should thy head be loppeth off, thou shalt surely fail,”

“The ingenuity of Scissors can guide thee, and shouldst any Paper Caster stand in thy way, slasheth and proceed. But the Barbarians of the Rock can and most probably will crush thee. Watcheth out for them if thou chooseth this element,”

“Of the three, none beith all powerful. Each has strengths against one and weakness against the other. All thou must know has been said. Choose now, for the time has come,”

The speaker crossed his arms and glared at me through the cowl.

“Youwhawho?” I sputtered. I shook my head and tried again.

“Say WHAT now?”

I was in an understandably lousy mood.

There I was, fresh after the shower with razor in hand. I had been standing at the sink, reaching for the faucet; the next thing I knew, I was falling. It happened without warning, and before I knew it, I was on my back on something soft, and the top of my head was throbbing like a bass drum.

I was now, in defiance of all logic, in a dark chamber with torches around the walls that might as well have not bothered being there for all the light they gave out. This dude in the black robe and the oh-so-scary cowl over his head had just been standing there, watching me.

I was dreaming; and yet when I pinched myself, it hurt.

Was I freaking out? Yes. It was a Sunday, and I had a bowling game to get to, for crying out loud!

For a moment, there was silence. Then, as I struggled to my feet, he burst into that little speech about elements that made absolutely no sense to me at all, without so much of an explanation of who, what or why, and taking no notice of the shaving cream starting to drip off my chin, nor the towel (the only clothing on me, mind you) that had miraculously not come undone in my fall.

“Thou art the chosen one,” he boomed, “Champion of Uniwue, from Realms Beyond. Didst thou not get the memo?”

He clicked his tongue at my blank expression.

“Sons of bachelors, the Parchment Department,” he muttered, “Third time this month,”

“Tis thy destiny to Wield an Element, Champion!” he thundered, spreading his arms, “Tis thy quest to save Uniwue from destruction, and bring harmony to the Realms! Now… CHOOSE!”

As I looked up at him and felt the cold breeze blow under my towel, something told me I just might be missing that bowling game.

(To be continued)

As bad as this is, I’m glad it didn’t turn out a lot worse.

Whatever the outcome of the challenge, I feel I have already won; see, these elements and this train of thought inspired me with something a whole lot bigger. If circumstances permit, I might even do a novel on this unnamed hero someday, continuing his adventures in the whimsical land of Uniwue (there’s a story behind that name).

But enough about that for now. The other three stories are far better than this thing; go ahead and visit the IronWriter page to check them out. Please take the time to vote for which one you think is best; the poll at the bottom of the page stays open till the 19^th.

May the best story win… and here’s to my next self-inflicted Iron Writer Challenge!